HealthMysteries

Feeling blue?  Me, too.  I have a mild version of seasonal affective disorder, which is feelings of depression that result from limited exposure to sunlight, that occurs with some of us who live in cold winter climates.

I have seen an improvement in my condition over the years but one year, I wrote the poem below.  It was one of my darker poems called, “Over the Edge”.

Over the Edge by Therese Haberman

Feel old and weak

Much too tired

Cannot seem to hold

My head up

Depression seeps into my seams

Saturation point reached

Angst way above maximum limits

You push me over the edge

Sharp edge that cuts through soft skin

Leaving cruel scars

Memories of agony

Deep inside a failing heart

Careening down the road

To dead silence.

You stand in the blowing grass

Threatening clouds bubble above you

Race by too fast for this to be real

Smile and touch my hair

Your last sweet kiss

Lingers in feather softness.

You turn and walk away

Without a hint of a backward glance

Gray eyes sparkle with tears

You will never see

Sight blurs into a salty mix of memories.

Slowly wake to the feel of a wet pillow

Cold spilling drops plummet to oblivion

Wish only for empty numbness

To plug these caverns of raw, endless pain

Want to drown in nothingness

Like the demented.

Anything would be better than this.

I warned you, cheery it ain’t.  Let’s talk about poetry and mental health when we meet again.